feeling myself

by young professional

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recorded jan 2016 - jan 2017 in my bedroom in N15, slowly and in quite a basic way.


released February 14, 2017

all songs recorded and made up by andrew everitt.
andrew - guitar, bass, poor singing, etc.
olivia griffiths - good singing

thanks generally to tom strange



all rights reserved


young professional London, UK

probably too scared to ever play these songs live

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Track Name: old song
let's size hands
how many girls have you kissed

'and for yr sake i'm sorry that there's no heaven to reach...'
'and for yr sake i'm sorry that there's no hell for me...'
at the peak of my decline meaning outgrows her words
once visible, prominent,
now blank, not mine, and
i'm a quarry for everybody

more bed than room in my bedroom
in the window, oh - is it a shoreline or skyline
if you're in a place, well then you're in time
half an hour in here is half an hour out there
but i dunno

the library is my real home - no, literally
spurwater falling
I'm so boring time passes me
and my sense of self asserts itself like milk in water
Track Name: chill 'em all
may you be happy
may you be well
may you be free from suffering

close yr eyes

try to imagine a place that's pleased to see you
and understands yr just
trying to make the most of yr mind and yr body
while here on earth
just close yr eyes
while here on earth

i don't want to.

know yrself
no, there is no self

little pleasure in doing things
feeling down depressed or hopeless
often sleeping during the day
thoughts of hurting yrself some way

not at all / several days /
more than half the days / every day

on a scale from one to ten just how sick and anxious do you feel
i don't know
it's v hard to tell
both feelings are v unambiguous

why the deferral
what are you really scared of

medicate or tolerate i guess
Track Name: tobacco
what would you do if you didn't have to
i'd be the king of things

why don't you just deal with it

today i turn tobacco to ash
tonight i turned tobacco into ash

oh grow up

why do you drink coffee instead of tea now

my skills don't pay the bills
oh my days are numbered

would you like a bag with that
that's £8.99
Track Name: dear me
why don't you just...
cos i haven't had long...

have you ever used a pen till it's empty
being an atoll must be both frightening and nice
liv says she's so proud considering where i'm from and what made me
if things don't work don't just switch them off and back on again

to an extent each day feels like 5 or 6 generic blocks of football fans gesturing, undulating, copy-and-pasted throughout the stands of a video game to make it look busy and real, but you can totally tell.

feeling like a jigsaw without edges
gotta work out what i'm gonna do
Track Name: nah me neither
laugh or cry
attention: a tension

rather worry about the train breaking down
than where the train is going to
or what i'll do when i get there

where has all of the time gone
what is it running away from
floor creaks
like lights
dimming around something famous

wish i was, i'm glad i'm not
taps on? switches switched off?
like fun but sped up
like fine but fed up
- i mean, they make me do things for money

so at home i tip back bottles like telescopes

is it bad
does it feel bad
does it taste

it's a void

tom if you move back to london...
if olivia goes part time...
i've been forced to think
that we're nothing but the link
between cistern and sewer

wish i was, but i'm glad i'm not

at night my anxiety climbs a ladder to me
carrying a tray of tealights

but life goes on
and on and on

at the back, ironic dancing
- but still dancing